#fuck this is something I need in my life FRRR
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jeongin-lvr · 11 months ago
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i was looking at jungsu pics as a normal girlie does and i suddenly thought of this…… the fact i have a thing for threesomes doesn’t benefit me at all
btw we share a skz bias <3
OH MY GOD
No…… a threesome with those two would actually make me go crazy…. jungsu AND innie?? insanity i don’t know if I would be able to handle it.
they’d both be sweet but in a way that has you crying ykwim? “our sweet little slut,” & “our precious whore,” things like that 🤭 innie forcing his pretty dick in your mouth while Jungsu takes care of you from behind?? Softly touching your ass in the sweetest way while forcing his thick (and I say thick bc I mean THICK) cock inside… oh lord. Jeongin would be holding your hair in a messy ponytail, both letting him see your tear stained face as your tongue dragged against the underside of his cock AND leaving a visible sight of your arched back for Jungsu.
Jungsu even kissing up and down your spine as he pounds into you?? Yes. YESSS!!! And innie caressing your hair before smudging his cum all over your face like smeared makeup, maybe even taking a pic of it afterwards… PHEWWW
but I also think the aftercare would be so so sweet they’re just sweet boys at the end of the day; kissing you up and down, right in Jungsu’s arms while innie praises you with that GORGEOUS smile of his. God I need them both so bad.
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thatlittledandere · 4 months ago
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Alright I'll bite for the Homestuck ship asks o.o (I barely have any understanding of Homestuck so I'm just picking things I recognize asdhklf): Favourite canon ship? Favourite rare ship? Do you have a crackship? Do you self-ship with any character? Do you use the quadrants in real life? Comfort ship(s)?
Yey thank uwu
Favorite canon ship: MEOWRAILSSS Nepeta and Equius make me so so emotional they deserved more time together frrr 😭😭♦️♦️♦️
Favorite rare ship: I don't know if I ship anything rare... Tavris isn't as popular as some others for either of them..? And I guess I do ship it now there's no other word for my condition. They're terrible together it compels me. Forever holding out for pitch tavris but unfortunately kismesis requires some level of mutuality and well. Tavros and Vriska just are not on an equal standing in any capacity ever. So there's that
Do you have any crack ships? As a rule of thumb no, never. It doesn't even cross my mind to ship characters without some catalyst in canon. Like straight up the thought doesn't occur to me. There needs to be something there to catch my attention and if there is something there in canon it isn't a crack ship by definition;;
Do you self-ship with any character? I got over my crush on Eridan now I'm stuck with this bitch of a boyfriend who I just can't stop pitying in the platonic, human sense of the word. Might fuck around and adopt him next
Do you use the quadrants in real life? WISH I COULD real life kismesis especially could be interesting tbh, but only if it's done PROPERLY and not the watered down misinterpreted version you know. Kismesis isn't just enemies to lovers it isn't hatefucking it isn't even just a love-hate relationship all of these definitions have some truth to them but are reductive. Where is the begrudging respect where is the strive to be stronger and to push the other to better themself as well where is the fundamental equality in mutual one-upping and catching up-- when Karkat talks I LISTEN
Ok I do use the quadrants to describe my feelings for characters so that's like, 50% real life I guess
Comfort ship/s? I never understood the whole comfort character/ship thing tbh like I guess I sorta get what it means but also the terms just don't fit in my mouth.
Homestuck ship asks
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m1ckeyb3rry · 3 months ago
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YAY!!! Omg guys Mira’s third shower confirmed…..glad you’re feeling better though!
NO FRRR omg it’s even better when you remember that (idk if you’ve watched but) he has the same va as Sherlock from Moriarty the Patriot! LMAOOO Otoya took up too much screen time in that trailer he had to step aside this time
LMFAOOOO yuki(Miya) the villain in every verse first in fwtkac now jjk…..smh the new oikawa /j
WATCHES THE DARK KNIGHT HAHAHAHA SO TRUE stop the bowling idea is so hilarious…like imagine y/n is so bad it’s like that one meme compilation of bowling going wrong where someone throws the ball into the ceiling or knocks the tv down and he’s just like “Im done I can’t fucking do this you’re so ass at this”
OK good that you weren’t nauseous ON the plane I can imagine that’d be reallllyyyy uncomfortable….i forgot if you wanna like pregame your stomach or something for when you deplane I just remembered the planes serve ginger ale usually as a drink? I kinda use that as a stomach remedy too HAHA
-Karasu anon
HELP NOT ANOTHER SHOWER MENTION 😭 trust the world needs to know i’m a clean gal 😩
i have not watched that!! but omg that’s so funny…karasu detective au WHEN (i fear it may not be me this time because i have a lot to do…haha jk unlesss 👀) (i could fuck UP a detective au longfic w very little provocation LMAOAAO)
don’t forget him being murderous in hollyhock 😔💔 i think it’s so funny he’s like the sweetest normalest bllk character and we love him sm yet he’s the one who’s always the villain in my fics JFHSKSK justice for yukimiya 😓 now i have to write the fic of him being our bestie just for reparations 😭
barou would NEVER disrespect a girl but he’s like that one audio where it’s like “this is the first time in my life i’ve been provoked to hit a woman” LMAOOO karasu has to face all the heat because barou won’t yell at the reader for sucking 😭😭😭
that sounds like a good idea HAHA i will def make sure to order next time!! omfg if i was nauseous the entire plane ride i would criedddd that would’ve been so miserable 😓 i did try to sleep for most of it but i got a bit of writing done too!! officially 3/4 of the way done through bfb (i think/hope ��)
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ffsg0jo · 6 months ago
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tags won't let me say what i wanna say so my thoughts are under the cut i love this so so much fr fr
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honestly reader's inner monologue makes me want to give her the biggest hug ever
FIANCE OMG OMG OMG BAKUDEKU???????? AND HES SOUTHERN??????
"usually won't do anything until you're here" - oh ..... my delusional ass is having a field day
oh shit. OH SHITTTTT NOOO NOT DENKI NOOOOOOOOOOO GODDDD SAVE HIM nah cos the way my stomach dropped i feel sick
also iida doing law makes so much sense
noo because its her birthday. why can't she have one good day, just one day where nothing goes wrong. i stg ill fight for reader ill lay my life down for
going to cry for reader i really hope she pulls it off
also why am i lowkey imagining toshi with a darth vader voice lmaoooo i love this fic so so much i wanna live and breathe this
"his warm voice is almost paternal" brb gonna scream is this what a father figure feels like 🥲
"fate has linked you to a man that will inevitably break your heart over and over again" this is so poetic im literally tearing up. being in a toxic relationship im sure reader has her flaws too but she deserves to be loved properly and by someone who cares
“If you have a problem with the way I run my department,” Aizawa seethes. “At least have the balls to say it to my face.”  - well shit can't even focus on how fine he looks
okay i think he's being a little harsh. sure its not nice to be undermined, but you dont need to belittle her and make her cry. damn aizawa. at least he somewhat regrets it?? nah but no ones allowed to make my girl cry 🥊💥💥
Fucking astrology. Fucking Aizawa. Fucking work. Fucking Touya. Fucking turning thirty. - hear hear bestie im right with you fuck everyone fr frrr
why am i sobbing rn im literally crying and so emotional over this fic, i feel reader in my soul and i wanna hug her so bad. her insecurities, her thoughts and feelings, everything's just so relatable and even though im not 30 i can somewhat relate to the way she's feeling. bless her
her focusing on the heels going from something positive and the way touya says it makes her look beautiful to her hating them and how they look cheap - mint every single detail about this is perfect and i love it its beautiful. the fixation on the shoes is so real
hizashi is such a real one i love you so much hizashi
this fic already has me so invested in it. im trying not to read it all in one go, but i just can't stop myself. it's so good, and i love it so much. not only is the writing amazing, but the storyline and the characters have me emotionally invested too. im lowkey scared for the ending because i have a feeling it will NOT be happy, but im also so so excited to read the rest of it !!
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Inevitable Things: chapter two
aizawa x reader fic
cw: aizawa x reader, cisfem reader, office AU, no quirks. no porn in first two chapters, sorry gang :)
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When you arrive at 8:35, all of the lights in the building are already on, a warm, yellow hued light against the stormy sky. The exterior almost melts into the overcast; it makes you think of that ‘bye-bye blue' that Disney coined for its buildings, only much more depressing. Sometimes you look at this build and think about the hours of your life that it’s stolen, but not today. No, for once, you decide to have a good day. 
It’s your birthday, after all.
The dash across the parking lot is a bit wobbly, your heels catching the gravel and potholes. Mic had texted you last night to remind you to wear something special, since he and a couple other office friends were taking you out, so you had dawned the only pair of heels you actually liked: a red pair you found at a thrift shop years ago. The stilettos are a bit high and much too sexy for your taste, but there’s an unknowable something about them that you love. 
You did, however, forget your umbrella.
One of the interns is by the door, jacket pulled over his head to protect himself and his cigarette from the rain. Izuku, chubby cheeked and doe eyed, is shorter than most of his peers, with thick green curls that puff up and frizz in the humidity. For his stature, he’s surprisingly built; he and his boyfriend -no, fiance now- go to the gym together every morning and the hard work shows. You can’t help but notice the curve of bicep that flexes as he moves his arm back to his face.
“Good morning!” you call out. The weather is cool, so you wrap both hands around your special little birthday latte. Izuku seems unphased by the weather; he sniffles a bit as he pulls another drag, freckled nose wrinkling. The red stained rims of his eyes are stark against his tan skin. 
“Yeah.” He sucks in a breath, trying to keep his voice light and failing. His Southern draw sits heavy on his tongue. “Not quite.”
“Oh no, what happened?” Rain drives a shiver up your spine and so does the look in his eyes.
 “Like, okay, it was so-” He takes another thick pull and exhales it too quickly, coughing a bit as he talks. His ideas come faster than his mouth can handle. “First thing this morning-- well, actually, Ka-chan and I got here before anybody, so it wasn’t, like, first thing-first thing, you know? Anyway, like- thirty minutes after the first thing, when Mr. Aizawa arrived, he like, didn’t even set his stuff down before he told me to get into the conference room, which is crazy because he usually won’t do anything until you’re here and-”
“Izuku, focus.”
“I am focused-- these are important details! Mr. Aizawa pulled me into a conference room this morning and reamed me out. Incompetent: he called me lazy and incompetent, which is crazy because I do so much in this department! You wouldn’t believe it! And you know what Ka did? Laughed. He could hear it from the cubicle and he laughed, isn’t that awful? We’re getting married and yet he thinks it's okay to laugh at my misfortun-?”
“Wait, slow down,” you say. “Why were you yelled at?”
Izuku takes a dramatic gulp of air to slow himself, but it clearly does nothing. His finger twiddle the cigarette back and forth, ash falling to the puddle at his feet.. “He told me the work I turned in yesterday wasn't acceptable.”
It couldn't be the things you did. There’s no way; you’re smart -- well, okay, maybe not. You’re competent at least-- competent enough that you’ve done the reports previously without any complaints. 
“No.”
“It's my fault.” Izuku continues. His accent gets thicker when it’s holding worry, clipping words and rounding out other sounds. “I should have finished them myself, but Denki offered to help me out-- and I had a meeting with the wedding planner yesterday so I had to leave early; if i was late again I would have upset Mitsuki and I couldn’t upset Mitsuki again because she’s intense, like, way more intense that Katsuki ever is, so I’m a little terrified of her-”
Fuck. You can’t listen- you’re trying to focus on keeping your breakfast down. That was your work. You’re the one that made Izuku and Denki look bad.
“-Biomedical engineering. Why did I pick biomedical engineering? I should have chosen law school like Iida. That would have been a better career path.”
“What about Denki?” You interrupt his rambling and he seems to snap out of his panic loop. For once, he’s quiet. “What about Denki, Izuku?”
“Oh.” Izuku says. “Yeah. Well.”
He places the cigarette between his teeth and goes to suck, only to realize he’s hit the filter. With a tsk, he smashes the embers against the concrete side of the building, but doesn’t drop the butt, instead holding it in his palm. A trickle of rain runs down your cheek, just enough to make you shiver.
“Allegedly,” Now, he speaks too slowly, chewing on every word. “HR is working on his off boarding.”
Your body forgets how to breathe. The interns are all part of a specific college program- if they aren’t working, they don’t get credit towards their summer graduation. Because of you, Denki will not be graduating this spring-- in fact, he’s going to have to wait another full school year until he can apply for graduating again. Your head is spinning from the lack of oxygen and you have to manually force yourself to suck in a breath.
“He’s fired?” you ask, stupidly. 
“I’m not surprised, to be honest.” Izuku says. His pretty little curls are flattened now, heavy with wet. “This was his fifth big mistake and Mr. Aizawa is, well… he’s Mr. Aizawa. He doesn’t pull any punches.”  
“Oh, geez.” You want to barf. “Oh, no, oh, geez.” 
You’re ruining someone's life. One mistake and  you’ve fucked everything up. Tears prickle hot behind your eyes as you think; what are your options here? You can’t just let this happen. Your job is to fix things-- that’s the only thing you’re good for. Discussing this with Aizawa would be a dead end; he’d probably just fire you too. You need to go above him. 
“I’ll fix this,” you say, mostly to reassure yourself. You turn on your heel and march inside, a plan already forming in your mind. “Don’t worry.”
“Fix what?” Izuku calls after you. “Denki getting fired?”
You flash the security officer your badge, not bothering to turn around. There’s no time for that. The head of HR is usually punctual, so you only have a couple minutes before he arrives and sees the termination paperwork. It’ll take time to process, of course, but you’d rather fix this before it’s even reached that point.  You scramble to your desk and don’t bother to sit down before you’re picking up your phone and dialing. The number is posted on a little sticky note, right under ‘emergencies only’ written in big red letters. This… counts, right? This is an emergency in its own regard.
The line rings once, then twice. Then, it clicks. 
“Good morning.” The voice on the other side is unusually smooth, a clear timbre despite it all. In between words he takes long, drawing breaths, pulling through his nasal cannula. “Is my company? On fire?”
You laugh at that and you aren’t sure why. Maybe it’s the trill of fear in your gut, burrowing its way out anyway it can. “Good morning, sir. No, the building is still standing, luckily.”
“Please,"  he says, and you understand immediately.
“Yagi.” The informality of it all feels weird, even after all this time. He's the CEO and he wants you to address him like a friend. It’s been that way since you first started, but it still feels undeserved. “How are you?”
“I’m well.” Behind him you can hear the mumble of the television: a children’s show, you think. “My niece is visiting. So, I’ve been. Spending a lot of time. By the pond, feeding the ducks.”
He mentioned once that he had wanted children, but the company had taken up too much of his time. That memory makes your gut twist in a different way as you remember just how finite his time really is. 
“That sounds lovely.”
“It is lovely.” He pauses. Then, clears his throat. “Not that I’m. Not happy to hear from you, but… why are you calling?”
“Well, I-” You’re not sure where to start. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, swaying like you have to pee. “I made a mistake.”
“What kind of mistake?”  
“Not a company ruining one, but…” Oh, geez. Maybe you'll end up being the one without a job today.  “I finalized some work for the engineering department interns and it wasn’t up to standard. And the manager-”
“-Shouta?”
 “Yes, uh. Aizawa. He wasn’t aware of that fact and he fired the intern for work that I did.”
There's a pause.
“Are you sure?” He sniffles a bit. You can picture how he itches his nose with the back of his hand. He hates that tube. “I know he isn’t. The warmest man, but Aizawa. Isn’t one to fire. An employee without. Apt reason. Have you tried. Speaking to him?”
You can’t. The idea of confrontation makes your skin itch. Besides, you can’t just look him in the eyes and admit you fucked up-- he’d lose his mind. 
“I just can’t let Kaminari get in trouble for my work.”
Yagi hums a low tone.
“I’ll bring it. To Shouta’s attention.” You almost jump for joy at that. “And I’ll let HR. Know.”
“Oh, thank you.” You’re physically bouncing. “I felt so guilty.”
“That’s under. Standable.” he says. “Maybe we. Have the engineers. Do their own work from now on, okay?”
“I know, I know, I just--” Can’t say no? “I like to be useful.”
“You’re more than useful.” His voice is warm, almost paternal. “I’m being told that I have an episode of Bluey to watch, so…”
“Goodbye, have fun, thank you, thank you, thank you.”
You hang up, then wait a couple beats before sighing with relief. Crisis avoided! Happy birthday to you! Maybe, against all odds, this will be a good day. 
You drop into your seat and let it spin. Your latte isn’t hot anymore, but even lukewarm it’s still pretty damn good. After it boots up, your computer notifications are alight with companies wishing you a happy day and a merry 30% off. There’s a couple of DMs from coworkers that you haven’t opened yet as well and the attention makes you glitter.You almost forget that Touya still hasn't read your messages. It's not a surprise; he always forgets your birthday. It shouldn’t upset you at this point.
The workday official starts and, for once, it’s calm. There’s time to organize your desk and check on your facebook. Maybe, just maybe, the universe has decided to be kind to you. Yagi sounded better than he usually does, if not a bit winded.
You’re thirty, but you don’t feel older. 18 feels like last week, 25 is still your friend. Being this old almost feels like a joke-- especially being this old and single, with a job you’re not passionate about. You thought, maybe, that things would be okay by now. You’d be successful, with more than a couple hundred in your checking account, and a husband that could return a fucking text. Life, of course, had other plans.
It’s not that you don’t love Touya. You do. You really do. You just wish that you didn’t. It's easier to love someone like Hizashi or a boring man from R&D, but being with him feels like running on sand as it sinks down an hourglass. You're too far gone already, too intertwined with him; fate has linked you to a man that will inevitably break your heart, over and over again.
You almost don’t notice the stomp of boots down the hallway until it’s too late. You’ve been eclipsed.
Aizawa turns the corner so quickly that you jump and spill your coffee. His brow furrowed so deeply that his ‘11’ lines have gained an extra 1, and extra wrinkles have puckered around his straight drawn mouth. When he speaks, his lips curl up in one corner in revulsion, giving you a hint of canine. Someone from marketing walks down the hall,  meets your eyes, then turns back around, fleeing it away from this situation. You wish you could do the same.
 His hands press flat against your desk. The space he takes up alone makes you wilt, drawing back into your chair. Oh, he's pissed. Beyond pissed. His hair is down for once, falling in front of his face as he talks, and his hoodie sleeves are pushed to his elbows, revealing the punched, tense muscle underneath. The finer hairs on his arms are raised up into goosebumps, standing straight like pins.
“If you have a problem with the way I run my department,” Aizawa seethes. “At least have the balls to say it to my face.” 
The air in your lungs turns icy. You’re frozen there, hands hovering above your keyboard, unsure if you should even pick up your drink. 
“On what planet is it acceptable to tattle on me to the CEO?” His voice carries down the hall as he growls at you, the low, rolling tone of his voice somehow more terrifying than actual yelling. He reminds you of a wild dog, ears pinned back and ready to bite. And you’re just the poor rabbit in his path. “And to HR? Are you fucking kidding? You’re better than this.”
Oh, this is the type of interaction you were trying to avoid. Heat flares across your cheeks as you sputter and you frantically look anywhere else to avoid the burn. “I-- uh--”
“Did the interns come crying to you again?” Aizawa continues. “Did you let them walk all over you again?”
He leans in even closer.
“You are not their mother or their friend. They are adults. With jobs. And they do not need the secretary saving them from work they are paid to do-- especially Kaminari, who regularly abuses your good faith.”
Your shoes. You focus on those. Your pretty, candy red heels with the delicate strap, the ones Touya always compliments and the ones that make you feel beautiful. 
“Calling Toshinori? May I remind you that he is actively dying? May I remind you that you are actively wasting his time with this?"
Shoes, look at your shoes.
"I also don’t have the fucking time for this. We are a business in a time crunch-- I don’t have the energy or brain power or man power to be dragging around dead weight," he says. "If I decide someone isn't fit enough to work here, they are not fit to work here. Do you understand that?”
Oh. A sudden, horrible realization hits you. All of the weeks of stress and loneliness and heartbreak and other random bullshit that’s built up in your life is hitting all at once and, despite how hard you’re trying not to, you are going to cry. Tears are prickling hot against the corners of your eyes, burning to come out, and you know there’s only second before they spill over-
“Do you understand that?”
You look up. He looks down. Your lip quivers. 
Aizawa immediately draws back, eyes widening with realization. He opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again, drawing in a short breath. His brows are pinched together differently now; if he was anyone else, you’d assume he was sorry. If he was anyone else, you might care.
“I didn’t mean to…” he tries.
“You’re-” You want to scream and fight and curse, but all you can say is: “I hate you.”
It’s incredibly juvenile, but saying it feels good. With all of the fury you can muster, you stand, chair bouncing back against the wall behind you, and march out of there and straight into the women’s bathroom. You hold your chin high until the door slams behind you. 
Then, you sob. It’s loud enough that you know it can be heard in the hall, wet enough that all of your make-up ends on the back of your hands, hard enough that you lose one of your contacts, but you just can’t stop. It comes in a torrent, one that doesn’t stop until you’re all blurry eyed and swollen and absolutely, positively destroyed.  
Fucking astrology. Fucking Aizawa. Fucking work. Fucking Touya. Fucking turning thirty.
Your heels look stupid against the blue and white linoleum. The faux leather no longer looks convincing, but like cheap, normal plastic. Your cellphone is still on your desk and covered in an 8 dollar latte, so there's nothing to distract you from your own downward spiral. You want to be helpful. You want to be a good person, but nothing seems to work out that way. 
By the time you manage to peel yourself out of the bathroom stall, the world has started to turn again. Someone’s at the coffee station, stirring in way too many sugars, someone else is taking on the phone just out of earshot. Aizawa is thankfully gone. You’re not sure you could have handled more of that.
Frankly, you’re not sure you can handle more of anything. You strip your other contact from your eye and throw on your only other option: the emergency glasses you have stashed in your desk. Great, as if you didn't feel bad enough already, now you feel ugly too. 
A ping comes through from HR, letting you know that you have sick time available 'if need be.’ For once, the office gossip works in your favor. You shoot off a quick reply, confirming that you're going to head out, then grab your phone. It's sticky and wet, but it still works.
do you want to leave work early and go get drunk?<-
Hizashi’s response is almost immediate.
->leave work early????? who is this and what have you done with my babygirl?????
-is that a no? ): <-
->are you kidding?????? I’ll be at your desk in 15
You are going to get drunk. Very. Very. Drunk.
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fallingsunflower · 3 years ago
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BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.
I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol
"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"
"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."
"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"
"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."
"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."
"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"
"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"
"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."
"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."
"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."
"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"
"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."
"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."
"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"
"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"
"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"
"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"
"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"
"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"
"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"
"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"
"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"
"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all���"
"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"
"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"
"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"
"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."
"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"
"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"
"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."
"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"
"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"
"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."
"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."
"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"
"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."
"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"
"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"
"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"
"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"
"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"
"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"
"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."
"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"
"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"
"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"
"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"
"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."
"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."
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skyskyyyyyj · 4 years ago
Text
I just dont have anywhere else to talk right now. I think everyones going through too much but Im honestlhy afraid i might kill myself if i dont say something to someone even if its just to myself.
I cant believe malach left. Not like, we broke up. I can believe that. I can believe it. I cant believe he stopped being my friend like stopped hitting me up like stopped trying really with our friendship. Unless I ask him to 'please help'. Sometimes. i just dont trust anyone anymore. I dont trust anyone I used to trust. I just want to be okay again, it seems like I was just figuring out how to be happy and now I dont know how to do that. Every second of my day isnt mine, it belon\gs to my school and its just shit. I never wanted to belong to anyone. but me.
Im so hurt. Thats all. It just hurts. I cant believe i might lose my fucking toenail, all my negative cibes might just make that happen tho. Cant believe I got hit by a car. I just wonder like does life want me to be sad? I dont get waht I did wrong, or if this is just something ill learn from. This is hard. Its hard hard hard. I just hope it gets easier. I dont feel like ive been through enough difficult periods like this to know how to cope. I just feel like im suffocating frrr. I just want to not exist.
Miraku said when i want to die i should think about why and what death would provide me that life can not, but never give in. Death would just alleviate me from life. I am tired. I am exhausted. I just want to sleep. But yeah, i have my lil sister and after i almost died i realized i cant be a trauma to her. I wonder if id do it. IF she werent here. I think I would, I wouldnt mind dying to be honest. I know I promised to never say it again, but its just what the fuck it is.
Why does malach say he'll still be here for me? Why does he hit me up? I need to never think I can talk to him again, just act like I wont see him again even if i know i will. I need to accept that i will nbever be close to him agian, not even temporarily, i just wish we'd never met. I really, really do. Maybe its for the best that we met, but i just wish id never spoken to him. It was a mistake because ive been left many times. Tony, David, ALL of Davids family. Masai. why would i think that if i just loved him enough and he said he loved me enough, i wouldnt be alone? I felt so. not alone. i felt like he was there. and i just.... this is worse than before I think. And I still dont know how to navigate this, Im trying so hard to be okay and its just like everything i do backfires. I try to smoke, I almost broke my fucking foot. I try to bike, I almost die and get hit by a fucking car. I try to love someone with all of my heart, he leaves. Ive been trying fucking HARD to not havec a negative narrative and I know my heart you know? I fucking know I want to be happy. This isnt even me just perpetuating shit and making it happen i dont get it i dont understand whats going on.
#tw
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fanarchoslashivist · 6 years ago
Note
Harry Potter/Drarry/Time Travel
While the drabble doesn’t hold any Drarry, I do want to make a few shorts into this universe that eventually ill, because the idea became a little... addictive.
Sorry for any mistakes, kind of cranked this one out last night and only gave it a minimal edit today.
-
“Bloody hell Malfoy.”
It was one hell of a mess, Ron had thought himself prepared,he’d seen the evidence when he had first walked the crime scene with his fatherto collect the illegally modified muggle equipment, but there was a very bigdifference between dry black bloodstains and an actively growing pool beneath astill living body.
Draco cracked open his eyes and stared at him, somethinglike confusion in his pain clouded gaze. He was dressed so normal, Ron couldn’thelp but be unnerved by it as he dropped to his knees and got to work. Hehadn’t actually seen the body, even when Harry had firecalled him asking himto, ‘to be sure’. He had already been halfway through the second journal atthat point. He hadn’t the stomach to pay a visit.
He ripped the plain white shirt, saying “Why couldn’t you haveworn one of those stupid button-up ones you always liked,” as he set to tryingto stay the bloodflow. It wasn’t natural, a white shirt and trousers, scuffedsteel-toe boots, a muggle billfold had been among his personal effects formerlin’s sake. He’d almost pulled a Harry and assumed Malfoy had faked it.
If not for the journals…
“How did you-” Malfoy tried before the pain of speakingseized him, causing his to bow up off the ground and wreck the hasty first aidRon had managed, ripping open the new skin that was trying to knit the woundstogether.
“How do you think?” Ron snapped, putting more force than hereally needed to in shoving the other back down and keeping him there as heworked. “Stay still you bastard, its hard enough keeping you alive without youthrashing.”
It wasn’t exactly a fair thing to say, Ron had at least someexperience with a splinching, and he knew the victim couldn’t really controlhow the body reacted to that much trauma, but he wasn’t really feeling graciousbedside manner at the moment.
He was already running on his only reserves of charity forthe git.
“Why is it not healing?” He growled and keeping his weighton one forearm, both to keep Malfoy still as to keep pressure on the wounds,grabbed another bottle of dittany from the bag he’d brought with him, uncorkingit with his mouth and applying it across the huge open gashes.
“Its not-nngh-,” Malfoy clunched his teeth against a wave ofagony. “It’s a curse.”
“Curse?” Ron stared at him, eyes huge.
“Frrr-from before.”
Before, before what? “You didn’t get splinched because ofsome time-travel experiment?” Draco carefully, barely, shook his head. “Bloody-well that’s brilliant isn’t it?” He tossed the now empty bottle away andstruggled through the rest of his rudimentary first aid knowledge from Aurortraining. “Lets hope this keeps you alive long enough then, they’ll sort youout at St. Mugo’s.”
“No,” The denial came like a gust from Draco and he grabbedRon’s shoulder, bloodshot eyes wild, “No.”
“Merlin Malfoy, do you think I’ve the skills to do thismyself?” Ron gagged as the freshly healed parts of the wounds started to peelapart in front of his very eyes. “This is so far beyond anything I can handle.”
“Go.” Malfoy’s voice was bubbling, and there was blood onhis lips now.
“I didn’t break the bloody law to travel back just to notsave your pasty ass you-” Malfoy cut him off by putting a blood coated hand onhis cheek and forcibly turning his head to the side, towards the array of muggleitems in the corner of the shack.
“Go back.” Malfoy said simply, “Go back further.”
Then he died.
Ron stared down at him, at the vacant blue eyes and theslack face. Death wasn’t new to him, but it really wasn’t anything he wascomfortable with.
“Fuck you Malfoy.” He said bitterly, because that was reallyall he could say. He’d thought, he had really thought, but it hadn’t made adifference after all.
He’d gone back in time, used Malfoy’s secret time turner andgone back to save him, because what else was he supposed to do after readingthose damn… what had Malfoy thought he’d accomplish anyway? Messing with timetravel? His stupid plans to change everything, to fix everything, wasn’t itenough that they had won the war? Malfoy hadn’t even really lost anyoneimportant. His parents were still alive, none of them had gone to Azkaban, he’deven seemed to have been getting somewhere with this mental auto repair shophe’d set up.
So why did he have piles of journals filled with plans tochange things?
Plans to save THEM.
Ron stood on shaky legs, not quite ready to let go of hisanger. Not quite ready to let go at all.
“Why couldn’t you have just left well enough be you ass.” Hesnarled down at the corpse.
Go back further…
He’d already gone back farther than anyone was supposed to,that damn time turner he’d stolen from Hermoine’s desk.
“Damn it Malfoy.” He kicked out at Draco’s leg, but therewas no reaction. There wouldn’t be, not ever again.
He was running out of time, the five minute countdown wassure to be running low, and then he’d be back in his own time and having toface his wife and eventually Harry when he came back from Ginny’s tournament.Tell them he broke the law and risked getting fired, or Azkaban, to save theferret.
Because of a sodding diary.
Ron glared at the offending item where it lay, till open andready for its next update on Malfoy’s desk. Detailing the date and time of hislatest time-travel experiment, the one that would cost him his life.
He wandered to it, flipping the pages back to the passagethat made his decision for him, though the whole rotten thing had been oneguilt trip after another.
“I considered going back to the Battle, to attempt anothersmall change, but have determined the risks to be too great for an outcome thatwould likely be altered once I make my final jump. I have made alterations tomy yearly plans to factor in the risks involved in attempting to change thisduring that time however, though how it will play out with my previous years ofinterferences I cannot predict, I can only plan ahead so much, however I dohave every intention of preventing a war to begin with, so the fate of theWeasley twin should not be in such jeopardy.
I simply cannot endure seeing only the one of them, not whenI am certain I can make these changes if I chose.”
Final jump. It wasn’t the first or last time Malfoy hadmentioned that, which had never sat well with him knowing the five minute limiton the Time Turner. Hermoine had theorized that Malfoy and Nott had intended tomake many small changes, and that the final jump would simply be their last,but Ron hadn’t really agreed. Because of this, this one entry.
Why would Malfoy make any small changes at all if heintended to completely stop the war?
Before the Ministry had assumed the two were planning onsaving Voldemort, but Ron’s investigation hadn’t found evidence of that.
No, someone wanting to win a war wouldn’t plot to saveenemies on the other side.
There was something else going on.
If only they had arrested Nott when Malfoy was still alive,instead of tracking their ties and finding the poor bastard’s corpse months oldin this… muggle auto shop.
Ron flipped the journal closed and stalked towards themuggle machinery, the same old beat up car he had last seen as a teen. HowMalfoy had recovered his parent’s flying car he’d never know, but that thething was gutted and sitting in a corner under a tarp had hurt. It had savedhis life, his and Harry’s, and Malfoy had been picking it apart like ascavenger bird.
Except, looking at it now he didn’t really see that.
The doors had been replaced, and all the shattered windowstoo, the bonnet was removed, but there was a new one in the corner, unpainted,ready to be put in place.
Draco had been fixing it.
Ron ran his hand along the side, feeling all the littleimperfections where the dents had been popped back out and sanded down. Thejournal had spoken about Malfoy’s ‘project car’, he just hadn’t connected it tothe battered vehicle his father and he had shaken their heads over as theygathered evidence.
Well, he’d have to see about giving it a home, when he gotback. It was the least he could do, seeing as how he couldn’t save the prathimself.
He smiled and gavethe car a light pat, then looked back at Draco. He knew the seconds wereticking down, he’d be pulled back soon, so why not indulge a little? He openedthe car door and slid into the seat. Merlin, but he had wanted his own car forAGES. Hermione of course, being a muggle born, had dismissed the idea as afrivolous expense, muggles used cars out of necessity, wizards could floo orapperate.
Well, no offense to he wife, but she had never beensplinched, and this particular car had saved his life on two, TWO occasions. Itfelt so solid around him, he grinned as he gripped the steering wheel, so safe.
Until it suddenly turned on.
He felt the pull, not unlike apperating, and knew the timeturner was bringing him back, but the car roared to life at the same instant,the door slammed and the dials on the dash flinched, jumping up thenstabilizing. He could feel the time turner pulling him and he understood whyMalfoy had referred to them as ‘jumps’, only instead of the feel of movingforward he could swear it was like sinking. Like the moment he leaned too farback in a chair and it tipped. He gripped the wheel of the car tighter andscrewed his eyes shut. “Bloody-“
“-Hell Malfoy” his mouth finished the words, and he blinked,staring down at the corpse in the room.
Only it wasn’t a corpse, and it was staring back. DracoMalfoy, laying exactly where he had left him, with a growing pool of blood and squintedopen raw red eyes. Ron gaped, looking down at the time turner, which was indeedstill running, then over to the car, still sitting quiet and ruined withoutwheels or a bonnet.
“Weas-“ Draco began, then shuddered, his body seizingagainst pain.
“Shit shit shit, don’t talk.” Ron hit his knees beside himand opened his bag for the vials of dittany, but even as he uncorked it andreached for Draco’s shirt he knew he was too late. Malfoy coughed, once, andthen breathed no more. “No, Malfoy don’t you-” Ron spread the vial over the lacerations,but no new skin grew. “Fuck.” Ron fisted his hands in the bloodstained shirtand shook him, “Malfoy come ON!”
He hadn’t died that fast the first time. He’d lived longenough to at least tell him to…
“Go back.”
Turning again towards the car, the car that Draco hadpointed to with the last of his strength, that Ron had sat inside of as theTime-turner had attempted to pull him forward, but had instead sent him back.Back to when he had first used it, five minutes into the past.
Ron surged up and rushed to it, grabbing for the handle toofast it slipped out of his bloody fingers causing him to struggle with openingit for precious seconds.
He had to stop, bracing his hands on the side of the car andbowing his head, just breathing. He was breathing too hard, too fast. Why wasthis upsetting him so much? It hadn’t the first time.
Because he hadn’t really realized it would be the firsttime. To him it was the last time. The only time. His only chance to saveMalfoy, and when it had failed… he’d been frustrated and angry but he hadexpected it.
He wasn’t upset at Malfoy. He was upset because he was backhere, again, when he should have been back home, and the person who could tellhim why had died too fast to help him. Why had he died so fast?
Ron stared back at the corpse, at the pool of blood and theone opened vial of dittany that had been as useless this time as before- theDITTANY. It had WORKED. Or at least, it had to have delayed Malfoy’s fatesomewhat. Maybe if he was faster, if he could keep Malfoy from straining hisinjuries and used both bottles as fast as possible.
Merlin, where was his wife when he needed her?
“Leave it to you, ferret. Of course you’d never accept atime limit.”
Wiping his hands on his trousers he carefully opened thedoor and slid inside, he could do this, he could go back again and save Malfoy,and then he could go forward, and live the rest of his life with Draco Malfoyin his debt, because if the Ministry had been upset enough to confiscate themodified muggle artefacts they’d found the first time they would implode overthis. A time turner car. Blimey they’d throw him in Azkaban for certain.
Ron held the little device in his hands, oh wow his handswere really really red, he had blood all over him how had he not even noticed?He giggled, knew he was hysterical, and tried to focus, tried to calm down. Heleaned back, gripping the wheel in one hand and the time turner in the other,closed his eyes, and just breathed. He wouldn’t be any help like this, but hehad time, he was sure he had time, he had watched Draco die and then wanderedthe shop the last time.
He just needed to wait, five minutes wasn’t so long, then hecould go back and save Malfoy. Or at least buy him the time to call someone tosave him. If he could keep Malfoy alive long enough for someone to arrive.
Breathe in, Breathe Out.
Five minutes.
The car revved its engine.
He jerked forward, there was no way that had been fiveminutes already, and opened his eyes. He stumbled against a desk, knocking histhigh into the corner and hissing a swear.
He was… he was in his office. The one he shared with Harry.
When was he? Had he returned to his own time? After all thathad he really jumped forward?
“Ron?”
“What?” he glanced down, and realized he there was afirecall, shit shit, what?
“I asked if you were sure it as okay? I know you wanted togo too.”
Ron rubbed his eyes, it was Harry’s voice. Harry wasfirecalling him. And he didn’t sound upset or stressed or impatient for answersas he had been the last few calls after they had found Malfoy’s dead body.
“Yeah, its fine.” He said distractedly, riffling through hisdesk to find an answer to just where he had ended up.
Oh. That wasn’t good.
“If you’re sure.”
“Someone has to help Mione with Nott, and since I marriedher guess that’ll be me.” He said, not really remembering if that’s what he hadsaid before. He stared down at the open file, the arrest report of one TheodoreNott, who had been found acting erratic, aggressive, and showing signs of beingobliviated. With a time Turner on his person. Harry laughed, and Ron camearound his desk to crouch down by the fireplace, folder in hand and strainedsmile on his face. He knew what day it was now, and what time, and he didn’thave the luxury of a chat. “You take your girl, mate, I’ll handle mine.”
“Alright then Ron, good luck.”
“You too mate, have fun.”
As soon as Harry’s face disappeared in the embers Ron wasthrowing open their cabinet and stuffing their first aid supplies into his bag,how long had it been? What time was Draco’s experiment? Ron had only been ableto roughly estimate it’s failure based on the estimated time of death, was hedying now? While Ron had stood here chatting with Harry, had he died?
He snapped his bag closed and concentrated, as he had doneevery time he had returned to the crime scene to study Draco’s place of work,to try to get inside the head of the man the journals told him was so verydifferent from the boy he had grown up with.
He apparated into the auto shop at the exact moment Dracocollapsed to the ground, and caught him before he hit.
“Weas-”
“Don’t talk,” Ron ordered, laying Malfoy out and fisting hisshirt and tearing it open to expose the wounds. “Don’t talk, don’t move, justconcentrate on staying alive Malfoy and you just might do that.”
Draco gasped, mouth working like a fish, but the painalready stole his voice. Ron could see it now, the slow clean parting of theflesh, like some invisible knife was opening him up. Ron uncorked the first of thehandful of dittany vials and began pouring it as the wounds opened, racing thelines, trying to anticipate based on his last two jumps where they would open.
“What-” Draco’s throat worked as a slice opened up his neckand across his jaw, “is that?”
“Dittany,” Ron said, uncorking the next vial and reapplyingit as the first slice reopened, “I carry it since I got splinched, it workedlast time, so I grabbed more.”
“Last-?” Draco’s eyes crawled down to his chest where thetime turner swung on its chain, “How did you?!” He surged up, grabbing at thedevice and pulling it hard, and Ron along with in.
“Hey!” Ron gripped Draco’s hand in his own, barely managingto keep from being strangled by the chain.
“The prototype was destroyed.” Malfoy managed, “Nott-“
“We arrested Nott,” Ron explained, “He was obliviated, andhad this on him.” Ron pried Draco’s weakening fingers off the device and swungit around to his back as he worked, focusing again on the injuries that justkept reopening. “You need St. Mugo’s, I should have owled them before I came, Idon’t think I can side along you and keep you alive at the same time.”
“They can’t help me.” Malfoy went lax on the ground, as ifhe was giving up.
“Because it’s a curse?”
Those raw red rimmed eyes squinted open at him, bitter andsuspicious. “Yes.”
“Do you know the counter spell?”
“No,” he closed his eyes again, “only one person knew it.”
Ron made a frustrated noise as the wounds opened again,grabbing his third vial, he had somehow managed to keep the git from bleedingto death. “Well if you’re just giving up then, at least tell me how to getback.”
“Back?” Malfoy rasped, grunting as Ron used the torn shirtto mop off the blood and expose yet another freshly opened slice. “You go backin five minutes.”
“Not in my experience.”
That got him another suspicious squint. “How many times?” Hedemanded, and Ron must have given him an obviously confused look because heclarified, “How many times have you jumped?”
“This is my third
“Did you use the car?”
“Yeees?” Ron drew out, uncertain. “You told me to?” That gota reaction, a panicked one.
“Take it off.”
“What?”
“Take it off.” Draco made an aborted motion with his hand, asif he was going to remove it for him, but lacked the strength. “You’re going tocross yourself.”
“I’m what?”
“I’m dying Weasel,” Draco spat, and a bit of blood bubbledto his lips to punctuate that, “if you spoke with me you are running out oftime, take it off.”
Ron did, and felt.. felt sturdier. He hadn’t even realizedhe had felt so off, or perhaps he had just disregarded it as part of hisbreakdown earlier, but with the time turner no longer around his neck it waslike everything came into focus.
“You never want to catch up with yourself.” Draco told himseriously, and reached for the dittany in his hand, “especially not with thecar.” Ron watched, disturbed, as Malfoy drank what was left in the vial. “Didyou have any more?”
“More?”
“Dittany Weasel.”
“Oh, yes.” Ron dumped his bag out, bandages and wraps andvials of potions scattering on the floor. Draco groaned as he turned on hisside and raised himself on an elbow, snatching up the closest vial and readingthe label before uncorking it and drinking that. “I… didn’t know you could dothat.”
“Of course you didn’t.” Malfoy mocked, then closed his eyesand breathed. “For serious injuries you really should put it directly on thewound, as you were doing, however this is not a normal injury.” Draco ran ahand from his chin to his navel, where the lines were… still weeping blood butthey looked more like cat scratches now, very large cat scratches. “It shouldn’texist.”
“Why?” Ron passed over a roll of gauze as Draco wiped hismouth with the back of his hand, leaving smears of blood.
“Because I made sure it wasn’t.” Draco laughed, low andmocking, but not at Ron. He stared down at the bloody gauze in his hand, smilethin and brittle as a broken windshield. “Then I crossed myself, and it cameback.”
“Crossed…” Ron stared at the slashes, the ones that ‘shouldn’texists’ and felt the prickle of a memory, of lines in the journal that spoke of‘scars’ and their ‘absence’. ‘Every timeI look in the mirror,” it had read, “Iremember it is possible. That I can change things, because they are gone. I haveseen the scars, though they are no longer there, and they are the map thatleads me forwards.’ “Your journal said you had scars.”
“From a duel.” Malfoy agreed, and his voice was still soraspy but there was less strain in them. “In sixth year.”
“A…” and he remembered, of course he remembered, “In thebathroom, with Harry. How did I-”
“Forget?” Draco smiled, a mean little thing. “Because itnever happened, because I went back, and I stopped it.”
The tests, the little changes Malfoy was making, testing histime travel, seeing what he could easily change and come back to check.
“But I was careless, I keep track of all my jumps, I madesure I knew where I as at all time, but after Nott.” Draco shook his head. “He foundout my plans. He was okay with changing a few things, things to benefit us,ways to save face or better our prospects, but starting over? Changingeverything? That was too much.” His mean little smile went nasty, “So I obliviatedhim. Should have known though,” he lay back down, resting his hands on hisstomach, “that he would keep the prototype.”
“Change everything?” This was too much, far too much. “Infive minute jumps?”
“Don’t be an idiot Weasley,” Draco huffed a laugh, “it’sbeen far longer than five minutes already.”
Ron blinked, and then gaped, and then made a high frustratedsound in the back of his throat. “What?”
“You used the car,” Draco waved a hand in that direction, “Thecar doesn’t send you back like a time turner, it sends you BACK, all of yourmemories, your experiences, your…” Draco glanced meaningfully at the prototypetime turner, “specifically charmed items. They all go back to a previous you.”
“But it’s been… I should be..?”
“Crossing yourself,” Malfoy supplied, and that answered thequestion of what that term meant, “You would have, if you still had the prototypeon, but once you took it off time caught up with you, instead of the other wayaround.” He circled a finger in the air, “This is your time now, congratulations,welcome to the present.”
Ron opened his mouth to reply, closed it, opened it again,then repeated his whine. “I can’t go back?”
“You can’t mean to say you were so very far into the future?”Draco brushed off his distress with a casual sniff.
“I apparated from my office here Malfoy,” Ron ran a bloody handthrough his hair, then grimaced when he noticed and began rubbing at his hand withthe spare gauze. “How am I going to explain finding you in your own blood when Ibring you to St Mugo’s?”
“You won’t.” Malfoy said planly, and cut off any argumentafter, “I’m not going to St. Mugos.”
“You lost a lot of blood, and those cuts are not completelyhealed, you need-“
“They won’t heal.” Draco seemed to be losing strength, ormaybe just his will to keep talking. “The dittany bought some time, but theywill come back. They’re in a time loop Weasley, there’s no saving me from this.”
“What?”
“You sound like tire brakes,” Malfoy scowled at him, “badones. Kindly stop doing so in my ear.” Then he sighed and stared back up at theceiling. “I told you, I was careless, I kept meticulous track of every jump Imade, and only jumped to times where I knew my own location. Except, apparently,one, because I had already changed it.” He lifted his hand, flexed his fingersin front of his face, staring at his own blood, or perhaps the lines in hispalm. “I locked Myrtle’s bathroom that night, so that Potter wouldn’t catch mein a… delicate moment, and altered my own locations for the following days, asI was no longer hospitalized. Running into myself… Time Travel is not a welldeveloped field, because any changes we make would alter the future, making theneed to make such changes unnecessary. Even now your memories of your future-pastwill be trickling away, until all you have is a vague recollection of somestrange feeling, an urgency, to act in the manner you did. The consequences ofmisteps are… not often recorded.”
“So you don’t really know why you’re cut to ribbons?”
“No Weasley, I do not, except that it is an injury I hadavoided by way of jump.”
“Then how did you… how do you remember?” Ron indicated theroom, and then to the desk, where the journal lay. “Is that why you keep thediary?”
“Partly.” Draco admitted. “That’s mostly to organize my experiences,to plan. I keep my memories intact by using a pensieve.” Draco pointed at thedoorway leading into the loo, “In the cabinet there, I keep a set of-“ hegrunted, face twitching, and before Ron’s eyes the cut on his jaw welled withblood. “Listen.” Draco gripped Ron’s shoulder, the way he had that first timewhen he had refused care. “There are pills. Silver Gel capsules. They are mymemories Weasley, Nott’s too but you don’t need his.” The cut along his chestbegan to split, and he screwed his eyes shut at the pain. “Take them, all ofmine, and then take the car. The gear shift, it is hallow, the time turner isin there.”
“The, but this is-” Ron reached for the one beside them andDraco knocked it away.
“Useless,” Draco hissed, “A prototype, Nott was to destroyit,” he said with an anger unfitting someone who had double crossed his partnerhimself. “Do you remember the note copying spell your brother’s made?” Ronnodded, “Take the 7 pills, not at once, in the blue jar, they are my otherjournals. You’ll need them. When you remove your time turner your memories willbegin to unravel, you’ll need them.”
“For what?” Ron demanded, “Why do you want me to swallowyour memories?”
“Not you,” Draco scoffed, “You just take the journals, findsomething else to give my memories to, and not me either. I’ll be no help toyou even with them.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re going back Weasley,” Draco informed him, and smiled,“or did you think you wouldn’t jump again?” He scoffed at the clueless face butit became a bubbling wet coughing fit halfway through and Ron was too stunnedby watching Draco die, again, and the dawning knowledge of what the madmanplanned to react. “Don’t tell me there isn’t something you want to change,”Malfoy mocked him, tempted him, “someone you want to save? Some hole in youlife you want to refill?”
‘I simply cannot endure seeing only the one of them,’ thejournal had read.
“Don’t you use my brother against me,” Ron’s voice wentcold, went hard.
“I’m a Slytherin, I’ll use what leverage I have.” Dracoclosed his eyes, and neither he nor Ron really bothered with the blood thatgrew on the floor around him. “Do you remember the summer before first year?”he asked, and his voice was soft now, almost dreamy. “It really felt likeanything was possible then, if only I hadn’t made such a mess of it.”
Ron stared at him, not really knowing how to respond.
“Go on then Weasel,” Draco dismissed him. “Go save theworld. Since I obviously can’t anymore.”
“I’m not going to fix your life for you.” Ron told him,though it probably wasn’t something someone should say to a dying person. Dracocracked one bloodshot eye at him and managed to grin.
“So don’t.”
And then he died.
Again.
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